26 Comments

Another great post Elin. This reminds me of a saying one of my bosses told me in an appraisal years ago. At the time I was really annoyed, but over the years it’s been a saying I think about ALOT. ‘You’re the master of your own destiny’ - definitely some similarities with owning it.

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Isnt it fascinating how (at the time) seemingly unimportant moments become markers of the journey. Yet we never realise until much later...

love that your boss said that 👏

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Loved this read! I have a zillion posts in my drafts folder and you’ve inspired me to get them out. I did recently come to the conclusion that in this season of life I’m simply unable to write long, deep, polished essays the way I’d like to. It’s one reason that I stay on Instagram, so that I can create in smaller chunks. This has inspired me, however, to not feel so much pressure when posting here on Substack.

Also, yay for homebirth✨ I have three kiddos, and my most recent was born at home❤️

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Ooh congratulations on the birth mama 🥰🥰 I’m terrified of hospitals to be honest... grateful I’ve had two home births so far 🙏🏼

Yeeees just get them out! From being here just for a month now I can already see how the unpolished makes for relatable stories, which resonates with many. It’s like other social platforms where authenticity grows bigger. You don’t have to be perfect - it’s the imperfections that will create your personal style 👏

As someone who’ve spent significant time building on Instagram (don’t know if you read my post about my past 500k across social media) I’d highly recommend to shift your efforts over to Substack when you can. It will have much greater payoff in the long run, trust me 🥰🥰

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‘It’s written all over the faces: Can you really do that?! Of course.’ THANK YOU for sharing such an important post. I’m so sorry about your experience - and I have to say I experienced something similar too. There’s always so much questioning when we deviate from the norm, which always really confuses me. Thank you for continuing this conversation and for encouraging me to own what I do! 🥰

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Thank you Holly! So glad to have you here ❤️ I read somewhere that you had a traumatic birth experience which Im really sorry about 🙏🏼There’s much work to be done to get women to be respected where it matters the most ❣️ would be interesting to look at this question through the lens of historical women... modern history it’s very male dominated (science and doctors telling women to be on their back... I read how it was a French king in the beginning of the 20th century who wanted his mistress to first birth on her back so he could watch from behind the curtains...) but going further back (also depending on cultures obviously) it has been a much more sacred practise and sense of sisterhood...

I’m rooting for you ✨

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“The only way to take charge of your own life and not let others’ voices be stronger than your own, is to take ownership of your actions and decisions.” 👏👏👏

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Yeah! Love this. You’ve actually just inspired me to write a particular post I’ve been thinking about for a while on committing to your actions.

I’m one of those people who struggles to commit to something but once I’m in, I’m 100% in. I give it everything.

There are good sides and bad sides to this. It can be my biggest strength and my biggest weakness!

Have a great new year Elin!

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Thank you so much Martin! Really appreciate your feedback on this one.

Ironically, speaking about insecurity, I feel strangely nervous about the response to this piece... isn’t it funny how the mind functions?!

Then we’re too - ones there’s a commitment made, there’s no turning back 👏

Have a happy new year! 🎊

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It’s great! Don’t worry. As you say, own it! 🤩

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Haha 💯 I clearly write these pieces as much for everyone as reminders for myself ✨

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Beautiful essay, Elin. It's sad to see how many people never tap into their full potential because of these societal conditionings. Deviating from the norm is scary, but so immensely rewarding. I appreciate you sharing your experiences with us :)

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Thanks so much Brina for your lovely feedback! And I couldn’t agree more, it’s really sad isn’t it!

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Thanks for the post and for sharing! I find it liberating to think that professionals are not always right and that it is ok to ask questions and seek more information. Especially when it comes to birth

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It’s always ok (more than ok) to ask questions even if we’re conditioned to think otherwise!

I think it also helps to remember that practices are vastly different in different parts of the world, so sometimes one only need to peek outside the immediate box and there will be new réalisations and possibilities available :)!

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I love this so much!!! "Just write whenever you've got something to say, post ASAP, and the rest will fall into place." I'm just getting started on Substack, but this has been my approach so far. Hoping for a brighter tomorrow, if you know what I mean.💪🙌🥰

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Yay I frankly aim to keep the same approach for as long as possible lol, I don’t want to create another confined creative environment with limitations of when where and how.

We’ve got this Samantha 👏✨❣️

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That's so on point, how society makes us doubt our own choices and make us guilty even if we are standing for right

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💯💯

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Yes, hear you completely. I wrote a book of poetry which tried to articulate this push pull of motherhood. Visible not visible. Public property but not when it comes to proper support (in the UK anyway). It leaves us questioning our instincts. It’s unsettling. Thanks for the reminder to own our decisions.

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“Public property but not when it comes to proper support.”... wow felt that one!

It’s the societal narrative that “we’ve got your back”, when in reality they don’t on an individual level.

When my family really needed support, it wasn’t there despite being from a supposedly social country.

I think the narrative persists only because most people never get to a real bottom where they become reliant on support - it’s like a security illusion.

So then the question inevitably becomes: what’s better or worse? A security illusion or frank realism 🤷🏼‍♀️

Thanks for reading Nelly 🙏🏼✨🥰

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I relate to you so much. As a fellow mother and artist, a huge lesson for my perfectionist self since having this baby has been: DO IT AND DO IT NOW. It doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be done.

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Yeeeees mama! My firstborn was a real slap in the face. I thought I was young (and obviously a bit dumb lol) thinking that I would handle everything easy... NOPE. For me at least, the sooner I assumed the reality of things the sooner I’ve been able to move forward (disregarding the pace).

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Yeeeees. Me too

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I can relate to this essay so much, especially dealing with healthcare professionals while pregnant. I've never been pregnant, but I was diagnosed with a chronic illness as an infant so I've spent a lot of time in the healthcare system. I'm not sure what it's like in Europe, but in Canada, it almost seems taboo to ever question a doctor because they're supposed to be the expert. But at the end of the day, it's your body and doctors are people who can make mistakes too. There have been many times that I've saved myself from a painful procedure only for the doctor to agree later that it wasn't necessary. Thank you for sharing this piece. ❤️

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I love this, Elin! I have an on-again, off-again history with self-confidence and that internal critic just loved to shoot me down before I had a chance to commit to hitting that publish button. It turns out that getting old is the best thing that's ever happened to me in overcoming these blocks. I hit a certain age where I didn't care anymore and tossed my ego in the trunk, and even when it's back there spouting all kinds of weird, muffled gibberish, I'm able to just hit the mute button on him and move forward with my best instincts.

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