I filled in the survey but didn’t fill in the blanks as I didn’t feel it was my place. It’s up to you to write about what you want, not for me to tell you. And I’m appalled that someone wasn’t kind. Take you r own advice and follow your gut
You're so sweet Tamsin, thank you! Don't worry it wasn't that bad, but in the heat of the moment (I wrote this post Saturday night after bedtime in a wave...) it always feels more harsh than it probably is! Though, you're reminder is always welcome to follow my own advice (which somehow is hard to do sometimes!) Appreciate you being here,
I think we have similar husbands! 😂 And I have to say as I was filling out your survey, and I got to the part about suggested topics for you, I promptly wrote something along the lines of "JUST KEEP DOING WHAT YOU'RE DOING". Your husband's/my husband's "You don't need that" also rang true in my head. I've been publicly writing for over ten years and never have I ever "taken requests". Maybe that's a bad thing, but I don't think so... and I have learned to trust myself.
Elin, you are rocking this Substack situation. Keep trusting yourself. I am here for it!
So grateful to have you along the journey Rachel, absolutely thrilled to be fair ❣️ it’s funny I never asked for my other art business that’s been going for 7 years… so what went into me? Hahah spontaneous excitement about a new feature I suppose and the commitment to think afterwards (not always a bright idea) 💡 though intuition always teaches us something doesn’t it 🙏🏼
I love how open you are to learning and growing and sharing about it!! We are so lucky! And here’s some advice Scott (my husband) gave me that feels relevant here: “just because they asked you to do something doesn’t mean you have to do it.”
Yay Scott!! So true, it goes back again to the notion of intuition doesn’t it? That only do what you feel is right in your gut, if something doesn’t sit right it probably isn’t, or you’ll find out soon enough
Haha then I’m thrilled for you to also have a supportive husband 👏❣️
You did good!!! I was first hesitant to share this piece at all, I wrote it in a haste after bedtime (as per usual) Saturday evening after posting the survey and then I thought… well, this is reality and I’m still grateful to everyone who answered as it opened my eyes further to how I want to proceed, and perhaps… perhaps it will be valuable to just keep staying true to the way I enjoy to write (all spontaneous), which is what I came here for in the beginning anyhow.
I believe there's a difference between being uneducated and being stupid. I see a little bit of stupidity as an asset, kind of like a secret weapon, and we should be embracing that instead of being ashamed of it. We can call it courage if it makes us feel better about it. These are all points that I think you echo in this piece.
I don't mind being at least a little ignorant about what else is out there in the Substack universe, I have no problem being a little out of the loop on the current conversations. I want to position myself to not be so wired into the heartbeat of my fellow writers, and in doing so give myself the freedom to write the kind of stuff that may not exist out here yet, or even fly in the face of what appears respectable on this platform without worrying too much about what others might think.
When I started here, I was trying so hard to provide the kind of content that I felt fit in to this space, but it left me feeling like a bit of a fraud. It's only when I started honoring myself and tuning out the stronger voices out there that I embraced my own stupidity, and now I couldn't be happier with the kind of stuff I'm putting out there.
Love this Dan and thanks for sharing! You know, to be frank, embracing my "stupidity" in the definition you provide is the only way I've been able to live off my art for so many years. I think it requires to kind of "close off the noise" and I guess that in this case I was just too eager to try this new feature out that I didn't think thoroughly on whether I wanted that last bit of information or whether it was in fact excess data.
We live and we learn! Perhaps, the level of "stupidity" is what makes us quick learners and recognise when to pivot and when to push through. Thrilled to have you here
I loved this! Not only does it make you seem more human....but it gives me courage as well. I love how you see this world (like you can see through all the mud and muck) and make sense of it. Thank you for all of your writings....which now I intend to read every last one!!!
Oh thank you! This means a lot to me! I’m indeed a human and not another Ai bot haha 🫣 I’m absolutely thrilled that it gave you courage to keep going, it’s all I wish for and you confirmed my decision to share the story despite initially not planning to 🙏🏼❣️
Thank you for this deeply honest and open post 😊 It really helps me to remember that even the "experts" still struggle occasionally with self-doubt and outside pressures. Not that I wish for anyone to struggle, but it's comforting to have a reminder that I'm not the only one ❤️
It made me sad to think of you (or anyone) being sleep deprived and vulnerable, putting so much extra pressure on yourself. Why do we do that? We have to remember that we are in control of our own lives and it made me so happy to read that you did just that and turned it around. Well done you! 👏 and well done hubby 😉
Thanks Eva! It’s an interesting question you put out about why we add more to our plates when it’s already overflowing… I wish I had a smart answer to that but I don’t haha and even though I’m generally much better at finding the balance these days, I still slip up from time to time… obviously 😅 I wish to create a transparent place here on my substack and I’m glad to have you along 🥰
Bravery is taking action with a noble aim in mind (feedback in your case) and being prepared to accept an uncontrollable and undesirable outcome as a consequence.
Recognising the outcome wasn’t helping you and causing harm to wellbeing you chose courage and decided to switch it off for that reason.
So I would say you have chosen courage and been brave. I would not say you were cowardly or reckless. And I would invite you to ask yourself whether it helpful telling yourself it was a poor decision? It wasn’t I would suggest.
When we choose courage we don’t always get desirable outcomes. That’s the point it needs risk. So you measure bravery not on the outcomes but the strength and merits of the decision. The bit that you control.
I’m lifting you up. Life lessons don’t need to knock us down, they move us forwards even when they hurt. And as women, we like to catch either other and hold each other up when needs be x
You are ‘in the arena’ as Brene Brown says! I hadn’t thought about courage and stupidity being so similar before, but they are! Though we don’t know it’s stupid at the time. You were being open hearted, welcoming and trusting. I recently had someone negative in a comment for the first time (ever), which rattled me. I think it’s inevitable and as you have done, we must find ways to protect ourselves and shake it off! 👊🏻
I guess I am haha. - I will have to reread Brown’s work I admit it’s been a few years!
It’s an interesting cross-over isn’t it! I was honestly just reflecting on how I felt and the overriding feeling was stupidity to not “think twice or more deeply”, but simultaneously I wasn’t upset at myself because I still thought the initial initiative was “brave” and to be frank it’s very insightful and I’m happy I put it out there (just some questions that needed to go). With some days distance I don’t think it was too bad, but in the heat of the moment it can feel depleting which is why I wrote this piece and decided to share it as a more true and honest reflection of what the process is like.
I’m sure some read it as being ungrateful but I’m ok with that, I’m in a quest to ask questions and provoke deeper reflections and transparency into what it’s like to live as a creative person so hopefully these type of texts help with that 🥰
I’m sorry you had your first negative comment!! As you say, it says more about them than you, but one still need to build a long term armor of sorts. Awareness and logic reasoning tends to be quite effective to counter the sometimes irrational emotional responses to one negative vs plenty of positives ❤️
This is so helpful Elin! The whole reason we are loving our space here is because we are heart-led, so it feels expansive.
As I have been thinking about creating a new Substack community for ADHD women, I have been thinking about topics, so it was a great reminder, from you, to stay grounded as I look for external inspiration. Thank you for writing it.
(Once again, it was heart-led and it landed 😉. Hope you’re getting a wee bit more sleep. xx I got to hold a 3 day old baby yesterday and that stage of my life seems like a life time ago, yet I remember the sleep deprivation and the mounting tasks. You’re doing an amazing job! Loving on your family.)
Thank you Mika for these heartwarming words ❣️🫶🏼 and yes you’re absolutely right! It does feel expansive when we allow ourselves to build on our own terms.
It sounds like a terrific idea and if it serves you, then you know it will serve others too 🙏🏼
Ps. Had a little better night tonight, the hope remains haha
Love all your writings Elin. You write it as it is and in such an engaging and thought provoking way. Like some others have said, I can't believe anyone would be mean to you. That says such a lot about them and nothing about you.
I felt very vulnerable last week thinking about the Substacks I've written so far. I felt so proud of them when I published them but the more I read and the longer I'm on here, I feel my inexperience in writing is so obvious. Is it stupid to be here and post anyway? Or should I concentrate on learning how to be a writer before I do more? The thing is, I don't think I'd learn the same without doing what I'm doing. I guess there's only one way to find out 😊
Thank you Susan! I do make a big effort to write as honestly as possible to reflect the full reality of what it means to live a creatively expressing life 🙏🏼
Those weeks come on ebbs and flows - But you point out the key: you can only improve your writing by writing! And I think to put it “out there” from the beginning puts a more realistic “pressure” that allows us to grow 🥰 keep going you’re doing great ✨
I think it’s only normal that you would like to ask questions relating to your own plans here on Substack, didn’t even think that it might be stupid at all! Actually very interested in the results! I think it was a great idea.
Thanks Lisa! So far I can say that it's quite surprising results, in a refreshing way of sorts... Not necessarily what expert advice tells us. I'm glad you like the idea, I'm still pumped with the general survey, just save the personal questions for another time when I've got my armour ready haha
Thank you for sharing it with us Elin, that’s so encouraging and impacting ! Talking about your vulnerability is very inspiring, it gives us courage to do the same even if we feel stupid 😃 I’m a new follower, don’t know if my answer to the survey would be useful :/
Thanks for sharing your experience of this Elin - I really appreciate your honesty. You are doing a great job. Planning to take part in your survey later this week as I’m on the move for a few days.
I wrote it quickly after bedtime Saturday not necessarily planning to post it, but then I thought it could be valuable to get the full picture of what a turbulence it can be to put yourself out there - especially when it often seems like nothing from the outside perspective.
As creatives we’re often told we’re too sensitive etc and I like to think that that sensitivity is our superpower, but only if we share it ❤️ no stress! I’ll let it run a bit before putting the report together, there’s quite some surprising results so far… exciting!
Interesting reflection, Elin. I still remember that survey, don't recall any question that would be judged as unreasonable bravery.
It's always tricky when you ask readers what they want you to write about. Personally, I don't. I lead with my publication, saying things that, in my judgment, need to be said. I'm also a reader of others. Here, I want them to lead (saying what they want) and I to follow.
Of course, you ask to know and if necessary, incorporate such feedback in your work, not necessarily to change content to suit what people want. But in doing so you also open the floodgates. You will now have to reject suggestions you don't want.
I'm dying to know why you ended up deleting that question. However, generally, banish that thought of having gone too far. While things may look that way at times, it's crucial that a writer's work is reflective of their thoughts at that particular point in time.
Whatever the case, feedback is always a good thing. Don't overthink it. As you said, 99% of the responses were really informative and useful stuff.
I filled in the survey but didn’t fill in the blanks as I didn’t feel it was my place. It’s up to you to write about what you want, not for me to tell you. And I’m appalled that someone wasn’t kind. Take you r own advice and follow your gut
You're so sweet Tamsin, thank you! Don't worry it wasn't that bad, but in the heat of the moment (I wrote this post Saturday night after bedtime in a wave...) it always feels more harsh than it probably is! Though, you're reminder is always welcome to follow my own advice (which somehow is hard to do sometimes!) Appreciate you being here,
I think we have similar husbands! 😂 And I have to say as I was filling out your survey, and I got to the part about suggested topics for you, I promptly wrote something along the lines of "JUST KEEP DOING WHAT YOU'RE DOING". Your husband's/my husband's "You don't need that" also rang true in my head. I've been publicly writing for over ten years and never have I ever "taken requests". Maybe that's a bad thing, but I don't think so... and I have learned to trust myself.
Elin, you are rocking this Substack situation. Keep trusting yourself. I am here for it!
So grateful to have you along the journey Rachel, absolutely thrilled to be fair ❣️ it’s funny I never asked for my other art business that’s been going for 7 years… so what went into me? Hahah spontaneous excitement about a new feature I suppose and the commitment to think afterwards (not always a bright idea) 💡 though intuition always teaches us something doesn’t it 🙏🏼
I love how open you are to learning and growing and sharing about it!! We are so lucky! And here’s some advice Scott (my husband) gave me that feels relevant here: “just because they asked you to do something doesn’t mean you have to do it.”
That is a hard one for me but I’m getting it!!!
Yay Scott!! So true, it goes back again to the notion of intuition doesn’t it? That only do what you feel is right in your gut, if something doesn’t sit right it probably isn’t, or you’ll find out soon enough
xx
Haha then I’m thrilled for you to also have a supportive husband 👏❣️
You did good!!! I was first hesitant to share this piece at all, I wrote it in a haste after bedtime (as per usual) Saturday evening after posting the survey and then I thought… well, this is reality and I’m still grateful to everyone who answered as it opened my eyes further to how I want to proceed, and perhaps… perhaps it will be valuable to just keep staying true to the way I enjoy to write (all spontaneous), which is what I came here for in the beginning anyhow.
I believe there's a difference between being uneducated and being stupid. I see a little bit of stupidity as an asset, kind of like a secret weapon, and we should be embracing that instead of being ashamed of it. We can call it courage if it makes us feel better about it. These are all points that I think you echo in this piece.
I don't mind being at least a little ignorant about what else is out there in the Substack universe, I have no problem being a little out of the loop on the current conversations. I want to position myself to not be so wired into the heartbeat of my fellow writers, and in doing so give myself the freedom to write the kind of stuff that may not exist out here yet, or even fly in the face of what appears respectable on this platform without worrying too much about what others might think.
When I started here, I was trying so hard to provide the kind of content that I felt fit in to this space, but it left me feeling like a bit of a fraud. It's only when I started honoring myself and tuning out the stronger voices out there that I embraced my own stupidity, and now I couldn't be happier with the kind of stuff I'm putting out there.
Love this Dan and thanks for sharing! You know, to be frank, embracing my "stupidity" in the definition you provide is the only way I've been able to live off my art for so many years. I think it requires to kind of "close off the noise" and I guess that in this case I was just too eager to try this new feature out that I didn't think thoroughly on whether I wanted that last bit of information or whether it was in fact excess data.
We live and we learn! Perhaps, the level of "stupidity" is what makes us quick learners and recognise when to pivot and when to push through. Thrilled to have you here
I loved this! Not only does it make you seem more human....but it gives me courage as well. I love how you see this world (like you can see through all the mud and muck) and make sense of it. Thank you for all of your writings....which now I intend to read every last one!!!
Oh thank you! This means a lot to me! I’m indeed a human and not another Ai bot haha 🫣 I’m absolutely thrilled that it gave you courage to keep going, it’s all I wish for and you confirmed my decision to share the story despite initially not planning to 🙏🏼❣️
Thank you for this deeply honest and open post 😊 It really helps me to remember that even the "experts" still struggle occasionally with self-doubt and outside pressures. Not that I wish for anyone to struggle, but it's comforting to have a reminder that I'm not the only one ❤️
It made me sad to think of you (or anyone) being sleep deprived and vulnerable, putting so much extra pressure on yourself. Why do we do that? We have to remember that we are in control of our own lives and it made me so happy to read that you did just that and turned it around. Well done you! 👏 and well done hubby 😉
Thanks Eva! It’s an interesting question you put out about why we add more to our plates when it’s already overflowing… I wish I had a smart answer to that but I don’t haha and even though I’m generally much better at finding the balance these days, I still slip up from time to time… obviously 😅 I wish to create a transparent place here on my substack and I’m glad to have you along 🥰
Bravery is taking action with a noble aim in mind (feedback in your case) and being prepared to accept an uncontrollable and undesirable outcome as a consequence.
Recognising the outcome wasn’t helping you and causing harm to wellbeing you chose courage and decided to switch it off for that reason.
So I would say you have chosen courage and been brave. I would not say you were cowardly or reckless. And I would invite you to ask yourself whether it helpful telling yourself it was a poor decision? It wasn’t I would suggest.
When we choose courage we don’t always get desirable outcomes. That’s the point it needs risk. So you measure bravery not on the outcomes but the strength and merits of the decision. The bit that you control.
Thanks Caroline for filling in, this is hugely valuable 🙏🏼 I’m glad you have it a read and time to reflect ❤️
I’m lifting you up. Life lessons don’t need to knock us down, they move us forwards even when they hurt. And as women, we like to catch either other and hold each other up when needs be x
Hahahaha love that quote!
You are ‘in the arena’ as Brene Brown says! I hadn’t thought about courage and stupidity being so similar before, but they are! Though we don’t know it’s stupid at the time. You were being open hearted, welcoming and trusting. I recently had someone negative in a comment for the first time (ever), which rattled me. I think it’s inevitable and as you have done, we must find ways to protect ourselves and shake it off! 👊🏻
I guess I am haha. - I will have to reread Brown’s work I admit it’s been a few years!
It’s an interesting cross-over isn’t it! I was honestly just reflecting on how I felt and the overriding feeling was stupidity to not “think twice or more deeply”, but simultaneously I wasn’t upset at myself because I still thought the initial initiative was “brave” and to be frank it’s very insightful and I’m happy I put it out there (just some questions that needed to go). With some days distance I don’t think it was too bad, but in the heat of the moment it can feel depleting which is why I wrote this piece and decided to share it as a more true and honest reflection of what the process is like.
I’m sure some read it as being ungrateful but I’m ok with that, I’m in a quest to ask questions and provoke deeper reflections and transparency into what it’s like to live as a creative person so hopefully these type of texts help with that 🥰
I’m sorry you had your first negative comment!! As you say, it says more about them than you, but one still need to build a long term armor of sorts. Awareness and logic reasoning tends to be quite effective to counter the sometimes irrational emotional responses to one negative vs plenty of positives ❤️
This is so helpful Elin! The whole reason we are loving our space here is because we are heart-led, so it feels expansive.
As I have been thinking about creating a new Substack community for ADHD women, I have been thinking about topics, so it was a great reminder, from you, to stay grounded as I look for external inspiration. Thank you for writing it.
(Once again, it was heart-led and it landed 😉. Hope you’re getting a wee bit more sleep. xx I got to hold a 3 day old baby yesterday and that stage of my life seems like a life time ago, yet I remember the sleep deprivation and the mounting tasks. You’re doing an amazing job! Loving on your family.)
Thank you Mika for these heartwarming words ❣️🫶🏼 and yes you’re absolutely right! It does feel expansive when we allow ourselves to build on our own terms.
It sounds like a terrific idea and if it serves you, then you know it will serve others too 🙏🏼
Ps. Had a little better night tonight, the hope remains haha
Love all your writings Elin. You write it as it is and in such an engaging and thought provoking way. Like some others have said, I can't believe anyone would be mean to you. That says such a lot about them and nothing about you.
I felt very vulnerable last week thinking about the Substacks I've written so far. I felt so proud of them when I published them but the more I read and the longer I'm on here, I feel my inexperience in writing is so obvious. Is it stupid to be here and post anyway? Or should I concentrate on learning how to be a writer before I do more? The thing is, I don't think I'd learn the same without doing what I'm doing. I guess there's only one way to find out 😊
Thank you Susan! I do make a big effort to write as honestly as possible to reflect the full reality of what it means to live a creatively expressing life 🙏🏼
Those weeks come on ebbs and flows - But you point out the key: you can only improve your writing by writing! And I think to put it “out there” from the beginning puts a more realistic “pressure” that allows us to grow 🥰 keep going you’re doing great ✨
I just want to tell you that you’re great, Elin. You’re great. Keep going.
Thank you Kelsey very heartwarming 🥰
I think it’s only normal that you would like to ask questions relating to your own plans here on Substack, didn’t even think that it might be stupid at all! Actually very interested in the results! I think it was a great idea.
Thanks Lisa! So far I can say that it's quite surprising results, in a refreshing way of sorts... Not necessarily what expert advice tells us. I'm glad you like the idea, I'm still pumped with the general survey, just save the personal questions for another time when I've got my armour ready haha
Absolutely, everything has its time!
Indeed 🥰
Thank you for sharing it with us Elin, that’s so encouraging and impacting ! Talking about your vulnerability is very inspiring, it gives us courage to do the same even if we feel stupid 😃 I’m a new follower, don’t know if my answer to the survey would be useful :/
Thank you for your thoughtful response! I'm so glad this had an impact for you to feel more courageous - it's a journey and I believe in you <3
All responses are super useful as it's always the best from a statistical standpoint to have a broad sample - really appreciate your time to reply!
Thanks for sharing your experience of this Elin - I really appreciate your honesty. You are doing a great job. Planning to take part in your survey later this week as I’m on the move for a few days.
Thank you Ann, I appreciate this!
I wrote it quickly after bedtime Saturday not necessarily planning to post it, but then I thought it could be valuable to get the full picture of what a turbulence it can be to put yourself out there - especially when it often seems like nothing from the outside perspective.
As creatives we’re often told we’re too sensitive etc and I like to think that that sensitivity is our superpower, but only if we share it ❤️ no stress! I’ll let it run a bit before putting the report together, there’s quite some surprising results so far… exciting!
Yes, absolutely! Turbulence is a great word for what’s involved in the process of putting yourself out there as a creative.
(exciting too!)
Interesting reflection, Elin. I still remember that survey, don't recall any question that would be judged as unreasonable bravery.
It's always tricky when you ask readers what they want you to write about. Personally, I don't. I lead with my publication, saying things that, in my judgment, need to be said. I'm also a reader of others. Here, I want them to lead (saying what they want) and I to follow.
Of course, you ask to know and if necessary, incorporate such feedback in your work, not necessarily to change content to suit what people want. But in doing so you also open the floodgates. You will now have to reject suggestions you don't want.
I'm dying to know why you ended up deleting that question. However, generally, banish that thought of having gone too far. While things may look that way at times, it's crucial that a writer's work is reflective of their thoughts at that particular point in time.
Whatever the case, feedback is always a good thing. Don't overthink it. As you said, 99% of the responses were really informative and useful stuff.