I love this! I've always had a bit of a rebellious spirit and bristle at anything I 'should' do - in my experience there are very few times when one MUST do something, outside of examples like Louise's, where consistency and safety are crucial. But in other areas, we all live such vastly varied lives that it's impossible to say with any certainty what one should or shouldn't do. Especially in the creative world - the rules of art are made to be broken!
“No more “shoulds”, just some “coulds” is a mantra of mine oft repeated with clients. Suddenly a could means choice and is exciting! Loved this collaboration - just gorgeous x
This was such a nourishing piece. From the repetitive nature of handcraft embroidery and knitting) to those gorgeous distinctions between must and should.
I had this motherhood book deal with fab status publishers who kept using the word should. I should tell mothers what they should do, how life should be and when they should take action for themselves and their kids. I’m sure they didn’t imagine I’d want to vomit at all these ‘shoulds’.
When I wrote the book it rarely says should, even though I understand they’re suggestions. Where mothers are concerned I find shoulds judgemental and telling.
Thank you Elin and Louise for this wonder-full read.
What a lovely piece - so nice to receive this reminder - I’ve had a “day off” today - tried to nap but meditated instead… everything waits and the winter rumbles on. ✨✨☔️✨✨
No "shoulds", just what one thinks. Nothing is ever as certain; a "should" is only a suggestion. The only things we should (and perhaps must) remain true to are our inclinations and intuitions.
I found the distinction between 'must' and 'should' as experienced in your previous work so interesting. I'd not thought of 'should' as having any kind of freedom! This particularly resonated with me - "The beauty of creative crafts is that you are entirely free to go your own way, to experiment and see what happens."
And this from Elin struck a chord - "Be the rule-setter of your own life and you’ll experience a greater sense of abundance and freedom than ever before."
What a great read! Until recently, I took "should" as "You must do this, or you won't survive." Yeah, lI took it to the extreme. I was raised to not trust myself, my gut, my heart and look outside of me for all the answers...AND to do literally everything everyone said I "should" do to cover my bases. I didn't realize this until I had a major burnout in 2019...I have been unlearning this for 4 years, finally seeing through the fog of fear I was raised in. Whew, what a ride!
I loved this. And I needed to hear it. I feel like I know what feels right for me and it’s often different from the “shoulds”. I’m slowly finding the strength to honour what feel right in my heart and pick and choose from the “shoulds” presented to me.
When I worked as a beauty journalist I was handed titles to write from, like:
‘Why you’re parting your hair the wrong way’
- which primed audiences to submit to the subsequent ‘shoulds’ of parting your hair a particular way if you have a particular face shape.
It was so icky to me to have to write this shit, there was this sense of manipulation and wronging women, making sure to tell them ‘how to get it right’ when it was just hair FFS.
I loved hearing how your discernment worked for you around all the ‘Shoulds’, especially next to the ‘musts’.
It a very empowering distinction you got to make, and so glad you’re highlighting it here!
I feel like I probably should (!) go and finish that mega cross-stitch of Van Gogh after reading this. :) in all seriousness though the semantics of the should are eye-opening. Really enjoyed this.
I've been thinking about the word "should" a lot recently too. I've always known I struggle with perfectionism, but it's only been in the last several months that I realized how much it was affecting me. A big part of my work now is trying to recognize when my brain tells me I should do something and to then think about whether it's something I actually want to do, and if not, to give myself permission to not do it.
what a great read!!! your description of how i feel when i knit/crochet (very slowly) was exactly what's in my head!!! i like the idea of *should*, yes i'll consider that. *must*.....not so much....unless the house in on fire!!!!! the word i always took issue with was *let*.....such as my _____ won't LET me do _____. yup, we're gonna have a problem with that!!!
Totally agree. I love experimenting when I’m silversmithing and whilst there are a few ‘rules’ of physics, the more I let go of what I ‘should’ be doing the more creative, fun and interesting my work becomes! 🩷
I so enjoyed working on this with you Elin. It's a wonderful way to share our perspectives and be part of a wider conversation xx
I love this! I've always had a bit of a rebellious spirit and bristle at anything I 'should' do - in my experience there are very few times when one MUST do something, outside of examples like Louise's, where consistency and safety are crucial. But in other areas, we all live such vastly varied lives that it's impossible to say with any certainty what one should or shouldn't do. Especially in the creative world - the rules of art are made to be broken!
this is so my mantra! thank you for putting this beautiful reminder out there into our community!
“No more “shoulds”, just some “coulds” is a mantra of mine oft repeated with clients. Suddenly a could means choice and is exciting! Loved this collaboration - just gorgeous x
This was such a nourishing piece. From the repetitive nature of handcraft embroidery and knitting) to those gorgeous distinctions between must and should.
I had this motherhood book deal with fab status publishers who kept using the word should. I should tell mothers what they should do, how life should be and when they should take action for themselves and their kids. I’m sure they didn’t imagine I’d want to vomit at all these ‘shoulds’.
When I wrote the book it rarely says should, even though I understand they’re suggestions. Where mothers are concerned I find shoulds judgemental and telling.
Thank you Elin and Louise for this wonder-full read.
What a lovely piece - so nice to receive this reminder - I’ve had a “day off” today - tried to nap but meditated instead… everything waits and the winter rumbles on. ✨✨☔️✨✨
No "shoulds", just what one thinks. Nothing is ever as certain; a "should" is only a suggestion. The only things we should (and perhaps must) remain true to are our inclinations and intuitions.
I found the distinction between 'must' and 'should' as experienced in your previous work so interesting. I'd not thought of 'should' as having any kind of freedom! This particularly resonated with me - "The beauty of creative crafts is that you are entirely free to go your own way, to experiment and see what happens."
And this from Elin struck a chord - "Be the rule-setter of your own life and you’ll experience a greater sense of abundance and freedom than ever before."
Thank you Elin and Louise, I so enjoyed this :)
What a great read! Until recently, I took "should" as "You must do this, or you won't survive." Yeah, lI took it to the extreme. I was raised to not trust myself, my gut, my heart and look outside of me for all the answers...AND to do literally everything everyone said I "should" do to cover my bases. I didn't realize this until I had a major burnout in 2019...I have been unlearning this for 4 years, finally seeing through the fog of fear I was raised in. Whew, what a ride!
I loved this. And I needed to hear it. I feel like I know what feels right for me and it’s often different from the “shoulds”. I’m slowly finding the strength to honour what feel right in my heart and pick and choose from the “shoulds” presented to me.
When I worked as a beauty journalist I was handed titles to write from, like:
‘Why you’re parting your hair the wrong way’
- which primed audiences to submit to the subsequent ‘shoulds’ of parting your hair a particular way if you have a particular face shape.
It was so icky to me to have to write this shit, there was this sense of manipulation and wronging women, making sure to tell them ‘how to get it right’ when it was just hair FFS.
I loved hearing how your discernment worked for you around all the ‘Shoulds’, especially next to the ‘musts’.
It a very empowering distinction you got to make, and so glad you’re highlighting it here!
I feel like I probably should (!) go and finish that mega cross-stitch of Van Gogh after reading this. :) in all seriousness though the semantics of the should are eye-opening. Really enjoyed this.
I've been thinking about the word "should" a lot recently too. I've always known I struggle with perfectionism, but it's only been in the last several months that I realized how much it was affecting me. A big part of my work now is trying to recognize when my brain tells me I should do something and to then think about whether it's something I actually want to do, and if not, to give myself permission to not do it.
what a great read!!! your description of how i feel when i knit/crochet (very slowly) was exactly what's in my head!!! i like the idea of *should*, yes i'll consider that. *must*.....not so much....unless the house in on fire!!!!! the word i always took issue with was *let*.....such as my _____ won't LET me do _____. yup, we're gonna have a problem with that!!!
Totally agree. I love experimenting when I’m silversmithing and whilst there are a few ‘rules’ of physics, the more I let go of what I ‘should’ be doing the more creative, fun and interesting my work becomes! 🩷
Love this! Am particularly grateful for the distinction between must and should