I used to do so much to try to make sure I wasn’t “misunderstood” by others, both in my life and my writing (disclaimers everywhere!). The day I finally understood that I cannot control others’ perceptions of me, I was free. This is truly a revolutionary place to get to in your consciousness.
Yes, it's so freeing to (mostly) get rid of the disclaimers! It's like, if you want to know more about what I mean by something or what I think in more depth than I stated, FEEL FREE TO TALK TO ME ABOUT IT. It's not my fault that no one has generosity of spirit or the skills to dialogue anymore. I won't be write or live in fear!
(Lol, this is a bit of a soapbox for me apparently)
Hahaha well I think it's brilliant: TALK TO ME ABOUT IT!
It's really this isn't it, somehow in the midst of abundant tools for communication we've lost a level of ABILITY to communicate. I'll bring this thought with me through the rest of the week, thanks for this Amber! xx
I’m one of those people who others think doesn’t care about how I’m perceived, but it couldn’t be farther from the truth. It’s a harsh reality that so many of us struggle with.
Thank you for being vulnerable with me Caroline, I really value it as I can recognise myself a lot in this sentiment too. In an attempt to create a harsh shell we can easily get mistaken as "not caring" when it's everything but the case. I'm one of the people who've most of my life been told I'm too sensitive, which in adulthood have flipped a bit to build more barriers to protect that sensitivity... It's a slippery balance to navigate it all and not let it limit your own potential. I think both of us being on here and writing our hearts out is a step in the right direction anyway!
Elin, You are spot on! The most interesting people to me are the ones that are original, creative, and ignore judgement from others, no matter how harsh.
Deb, a ray of sunshine! And I couldn't agree more - the ones who dare to stat their course despite the external attempts to bring them down (which will inevitably come). xx
Thank you for this post! I feel like you write the words right out of my mouth. Your voice really shines through and I admire it so much. Keep going. can't wait to read more
The more I think about it, the judgement of others has had such an impact on what I do (and more importantly, what I DON’T DO). Thanks for always being so encouraging and dropping some much needed truth bombs!
YES, this is so true - it certainly impacts what we DON'T DO most. I've ran my own race for my whole adult life and recently retreated to not having to share it all to avoid some of the judgements. I may know it's there but I am the one who chooses to share what I want to share and with whom. I appreciate you being here Mika, as always xx
Everyone’s understanding based on their own filters, which is always interesting. The title of your last post could have been provocative for some but actually reading it (at least for me) defo wasnt. As you said they made room for who is to come and leaves your writing to be read by those who enjoy. I truly do having come across you this past weekend.
Thank you for this reminder. As I step out again into biz it was timely ❤️
Yes I 100% agree - it was a provocative title on purpose to get people to think and reflect more deeply so I am definitely taking responsibility for whatever the outcome (some unsubs but mostly new subs), My point in this follow-up was to share the transparent reality of what happens when you try to make a thoughtful impact: Some will love it others won't (And I'm absolutely delighted to have you on board with me !! <3) .
I just wish that people would keep their hurtful commentary to themselves - on the other hand, I can only respect their right for sharing it too so who am I to say anything haha :)!
I really appreciate that you share how the content inside of the email was not provocative as I don't think so either (again it was the title that was designed to grab attention, as is their job anyway). My mission is always to share the realities of being a creative artist in the online space, as it's not just flash and glamour (rarely so), but to share it in an encouraging and inspiring way... And yes, sometimes with provocative elements because it's the only way to get people to move their asses haha
Thank you for putting your wise thoughts into words. Being a woman in recovery I learn not to judge and how to deal with judgement, something that I may not be able to truly accomplish. I find as a new writer on Substack my insecurities are on center stage.
I'm not a paying member yet, and don't know if that is a detriment. Perhaps it's time to invest!
It’s like the universe placed this article right in front of me for a reason. Fear of judgement has been a struggle for me for a while, and it’s been on my mind constantly. Thank you for the reminder to just let go of what others think of me - I’m happy with who I am
Someone posted this comment on one of my YT videos:
"Smashed a can of Rust-Oleum onto the garage floor the other day. The results are remarkably similar to the ones of your exercise."
At one time I would have been so upset that someone didn't like my work and really take it to heart. But now, I just think 'this is me, love or loathe it, you don't have to like it" As long as I enjoy what I do, that's the important thing - I can't control what others think, so am just going to focus on the positives in my life...
Yes you’re so right!! The comment almost made me laugh… I’ve had my fair share of crazy comments through the years too and at some point it just becomes ironic… you do you Carolyn 👏🥰
This piece resonates with me so much Elin. One of my favorite pieces I've read this week. It took me a long time to learn you cannot let a fear of failure or a fear of comparison or a fear of judgment stop you from doing what’s going to make you great. You cannot succeed without this risk of failure. You cannot have a voice without the risk of criticism and you cannot love without the risk of loss.
Thank you Pách this means a lot!! And you’re so right in all your reflections- there’s always the two sides to each endeavor and one must embrace it all to be able to move forward 👏
Elin, powerful piece. I think many of us creative types struggle with feeling the outcast and judged/shamed by the corporate structure of the world. I have never, ever fit it, an oddball, a sharp tongue, a loner all my life to a large degree. I have despaired more times than I can count, especially over money, and cling to God, else I collapse. Substack combined with Notes, is an amazing forum for pouring out our hearts through both our writing and our "visiting" with others via comments on Notes. We are all wounded and all in need of help...and along with God, we can help one another with even a moment of encouragement, a smile, a sincere prayer, a virtual hug. This sometimes keeps me going another day! Thank you, Elin and thank you all who commented here and other places. Let us help one another on the hard road of the material plane! I want us all to be blessed!
Thank you Wendy, what a blessing to have you here! I’m so glad you enjoyed this one and I can only agree, we’re all in a process of exploration and expression to understand our “oddness” and that Maybe… we’re less alone than we first thought in our supposed craziness ❤️
I wish I could write, at least my experience of being silently silenced. I cannot, there is simply no way. But, I applaud all of you. I hope you are able to continue.
Another inspiring and thoughtful essay, Elin. Thank you. I’m at a place with my creativity where I feel I’m free, and can work on my own terms. It hasn’t always been the case.
I used to do so much to try to make sure I wasn’t “misunderstood” by others, both in my life and my writing (disclaimers everywhere!). The day I finally understood that I cannot control others’ perceptions of me, I was free. This is truly a revolutionary place to get to in your consciousness.
Haha oh I felt touched by the “disclaimers everywhere” I totally do the same… and I’ve been justify myself endlessly, but I’m tired of it! No more.
Many of my essays I write as gentle reminders to myself too and it always turns out there are more who needs them too ❣️❤️
Yes, it's so freeing to (mostly) get rid of the disclaimers! It's like, if you want to know more about what I mean by something or what I think in more depth than I stated, FEEL FREE TO TALK TO ME ABOUT IT. It's not my fault that no one has generosity of spirit or the skills to dialogue anymore. I won't be write or live in fear!
(Lol, this is a bit of a soapbox for me apparently)
Hahaha well I think it's brilliant: TALK TO ME ABOUT IT!
It's really this isn't it, somehow in the midst of abundant tools for communication we've lost a level of ABILITY to communicate. I'll bring this thought with me through the rest of the week, thanks for this Amber! xx
I’m one of those people who others think doesn’t care about how I’m perceived, but it couldn’t be farther from the truth. It’s a harsh reality that so many of us struggle with.
Thank you for being vulnerable with me Caroline, I really value it as I can recognise myself a lot in this sentiment too. In an attempt to create a harsh shell we can easily get mistaken as "not caring" when it's everything but the case. I'm one of the people who've most of my life been told I'm too sensitive, which in adulthood have flipped a bit to build more barriers to protect that sensitivity... It's a slippery balance to navigate it all and not let it limit your own potential. I think both of us being on here and writing our hearts out is a step in the right direction anyway!
Elin, You are spot on! The most interesting people to me are the ones that are original, creative, and ignore judgement from others, no matter how harsh.
Deb, a ray of sunshine! And I couldn't agree more - the ones who dare to stat their course despite the external attempts to bring them down (which will inevitably come). xx
I agree. We are drawn to those who come across as not giving two hoots about what other people think. Perhaps we want to be like them? 🤔
We want it to rub off on us!
Exactly! 💃🏻💃🏻
Thank you for this post! I feel like you write the words right out of my mouth. Your voice really shines through and I admire it so much. Keep going. can't wait to read more
Thank you Anna this touched me. Grateful to have you 🫶🏼
The more I think about it, the judgement of others has had such an impact on what I do (and more importantly, what I DON’T DO). Thanks for always being so encouraging and dropping some much needed truth bombs!
YES, this is so true - it certainly impacts what we DON'T DO most. I've ran my own race for my whole adult life and recently retreated to not having to share it all to avoid some of the judgements. I may know it's there but I am the one who chooses to share what I want to share and with whom. I appreciate you being here Mika, as always xx
Everyone’s understanding based on their own filters, which is always interesting. The title of your last post could have been provocative for some but actually reading it (at least for me) defo wasnt. As you said they made room for who is to come and leaves your writing to be read by those who enjoy. I truly do having come across you this past weekend.
Thank you for this reminder. As I step out again into biz it was timely ❤️
Yes I 100% agree - it was a provocative title on purpose to get people to think and reflect more deeply so I am definitely taking responsibility for whatever the outcome (some unsubs but mostly new subs), My point in this follow-up was to share the transparent reality of what happens when you try to make a thoughtful impact: Some will love it others won't (And I'm absolutely delighted to have you on board with me !! <3) .
I just wish that people would keep their hurtful commentary to themselves - on the other hand, I can only respect their right for sharing it too so who am I to say anything haha :)!
I really appreciate that you share how the content inside of the email was not provocative as I don't think so either (again it was the title that was designed to grab attention, as is their job anyway). My mission is always to share the realities of being a creative artist in the online space, as it's not just flash and glamour (rarely so), but to share it in an encouraging and inspiring way... And yes, sometimes with provocative elements because it's the only way to get people to move their asses haha
love having you xx
Loooove being here and yes I feel you with titles. I do the same and am inspired/encouraged to keep doing the same.
People that spouted hurtful/vile comments just showed themselves and even more so why they weren’t a fit!
Triggers are invitations to take a closer look, not blame someone for triggering you 🤣
Keep doing/being you and reaching who needs to hear your message/shares from you ❤️❤️
Thank you Sabrina really appreciate it and keep going with your titles too 😍🙌🫶🏼🥂👏
Thank you for putting your wise thoughts into words. Being a woman in recovery I learn not to judge and how to deal with judgement, something that I may not be able to truly accomplish. I find as a new writer on Substack my insecurities are on center stage.
I'm not a paying member yet, and don't know if that is a detriment. Perhaps it's time to invest!
Thank you Karen for being here!
To practice being free of judgement is a work of art in itself and I’m trying to be very conscious of it everyday too. We’re all doing our best ❤️👏
Excellent advice for all who create. Thank you. (Your shoes were perfect … the embroidery beautiful …)
Thank you Jana so much for this sweet comment of support 🫶🏼
It’s like the universe placed this article right in front of me for a reason. Fear of judgement has been a struggle for me for a while, and it’s been on my mind constantly. Thank you for the reminder to just let go of what others think of me - I’m happy with who I am
I’m glad it resonated 🥰
Someone posted this comment on one of my YT videos:
"Smashed a can of Rust-Oleum onto the garage floor the other day. The results are remarkably similar to the ones of your exercise."
At one time I would have been so upset that someone didn't like my work and really take it to heart. But now, I just think 'this is me, love or loathe it, you don't have to like it" As long as I enjoy what I do, that's the important thing - I can't control what others think, so am just going to focus on the positives in my life...
Yes you’re so right!! The comment almost made me laugh… I’ve had my fair share of crazy comments through the years too and at some point it just becomes ironic… you do you Carolyn 👏🥰
Yeeees, loved it!
Thank you! 🙏🏼
This piece resonates with me so much Elin. One of my favorite pieces I've read this week. It took me a long time to learn you cannot let a fear of failure or a fear of comparison or a fear of judgment stop you from doing what’s going to make you great. You cannot succeed without this risk of failure. You cannot have a voice without the risk of criticism and you cannot love without the risk of loss.
Thank you Pách this means a lot!! And you’re so right in all your reflections- there’s always the two sides to each endeavor and one must embrace it all to be able to move forward 👏
Elin, powerful piece. I think many of us creative types struggle with feeling the outcast and judged/shamed by the corporate structure of the world. I have never, ever fit it, an oddball, a sharp tongue, a loner all my life to a large degree. I have despaired more times than I can count, especially over money, and cling to God, else I collapse. Substack combined with Notes, is an amazing forum for pouring out our hearts through both our writing and our "visiting" with others via comments on Notes. We are all wounded and all in need of help...and along with God, we can help one another with even a moment of encouragement, a smile, a sincere prayer, a virtual hug. This sometimes keeps me going another day! Thank you, Elin and thank you all who commented here and other places. Let us help one another on the hard road of the material plane! I want us all to be blessed!
Thank you Wendy, what a blessing to have you here! I’m so glad you enjoyed this one and I can only agree, we’re all in a process of exploration and expression to understand our “oddness” and that Maybe… we’re less alone than we first thought in our supposed craziness ❤️
Unsolicited advice! Yep, I hate those too.
Wonder if anyone likes them haha 😅
I wish I could write, at least my experience of being silently silenced. I cannot, there is simply no way. But, I applaud all of you. I hope you are able to continue.
Another inspiring and thoughtful essay, Elin. Thank you. I’m at a place with my creativity where I feel I’m free, and can work on my own terms. It hasn’t always been the case.
Thank you so much Bee! Creative freedom is the ultimate goal for most I believe so I’m very happy for you 🥰