When being the odd-one-out makes you fit right in

a cultural study of creatives on Substack

Hi!

Have you ever thought about how every other creative you encounter have had the experience of being the odd-one-out? And that somehow, being here on Substack, to identify as the odd-one-out suddenly makes you the right-one-in?

In fact, we’re not as alone as we think we are and I believe this applies across the spectrum of human experiences.

Rarely, even if we think we’re the most unique and lonely person in a particular situation or experience, are we truly alone. We just haven’t found our people yet.

One of the fundamental human needs is the feeling of belonging. So naturally, we’re always, whether consciously or unconsciously, looking for connection, community and ultimately people that makes us feel like we belong. Like we are not alone.

My husband and I embroidering at a 10-day event for Hermès in Paris December 2019. Two odd-ones-out fitting right in. Embroidery suddenly became quite cool. Ps. Check the video at the end to feel as though you were there too.

As life evolves our needs for new groups to belong to will most likely evolve too. For example, when you become a parent, you’ll probably feel an urge to find other parents who will understand what you’re going through.

Maybe you still keep a foot in the old group you used to belong to or you make the jump altogether because suddenly you can’t relate to the old one anymore.

(A bit like expat life when you join the local “expats in xx” group on Facebook and exit it when you move on to the next location… I’m sure

Monica Nastase

Carmen Luisa

Nolan Yuma

to name a few can relate to this haha).

I think this is healthy.

We evolve, and so does the needs from our environment evolve too.

The problem is that these natural changes, despite them being inherent to the human existence, are structurally oppressed to make us all fit into the same box.

Maybe that’s why we all feel alone and like the odd-one-out at some point or another?

Because just as much as we’re all the same in our humanness, the infinite combinations of those universal experiences is what makes up our unique footprint.

I may be a mother, but I’m also an artist, an ex-tennis coach, a business owner, an expat, traveler, trilingual, not-so-much-an-animal-person, an extroverted introvert and a million other things that inevitably sets me up to be the oddball as well as the right-ball in equally many circumstances.

How do I know that this is the same on Substack (considering it as a culture of its own)?

Whenever I contemplate on various topics or even just a spontaneous observation, I throw it out into the void of Substack Notes (a bit like

Emma Gannon

when she says that she likes throwing spaghetti on the wall to see what sticks relating to her creative ideas).

If you pay close attention to the performance of the “spaghettis” you’ll quickly see what resonates and what doesn’t. Add to that that Substack is made up of people who generally all identify themselves as creative to various degree (writers, artists, performers, podcasters, readers, poets, and more) you’ll have your ethnographic study result sooner than you think.

Below is a note I posted a couple of weeks ago and the results speak for themselves. More than 400 think the same as me. I’m not alone in this observation, nor am I alone in feeling like I’ve found an online platform where my people like to hang out, and that’s a wonderfully comforting thing.

Ayesha

was just one of 400+ who resonated with the sentiment and commented:

You're absolutely right! Substack seems to be a magnet for those creative souls who felt alone. It's like finding a hidden world where "odd" becomes the new normal, and thousands of us are thriving in our individuality.

I’m grateful to be a part of this thriving community.

Before coming on I had a couple of years of loneliness (despite having 500k+ across social platforms for my main art business!), and I feel how I’m slowly coming back to my full self again thanks to the sense of belonging. Like I’m the odd-one-out who’s finally the right-one-in again.

The beauty here is the mutual exchange, whereas many other platforms have shifted to one-way-performance.

At the end of the day, no matter where we’re at on our creative journeys (or life in general), our needs of belonging will always be here.

Thanks for reading and for being a part of my little corner of this creative platform!

Elin, xx

I’d love to hear in the comments about YOUR experience with regard to being an oddball and (perhaps?) finding home here on Substack?

P.s. Below is an insight on the type of insight videos that I used to share on my Instagram when growing my first art business. As opposed to exclusively charing final artworks, I made an intentional effort to share the stories that went behind the scenes, the process and trying to bring the viewer into our little world as much as possible. I dare say; It worked.

For more in depth reflections, the best place is to check out my book When Will You Get a Real Job - included for all paying members of my Publication. Thank you <3

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For further reading, you may also enjoy:

• The one thing that keeps artists from selling

• Writing on Substack can feel intimidating sometimes

• Why bother about creativity?