Thanks for writing this. It’s truly comforting to know that there are other creatives out there who treat their craft as a business and the elements of fun sometimes get ambushed by worry. Coming back to yourself and being present is key. It’s so difficult though since we’re vibrantly training our minds to think and *worry* about the future.
Thanks Crystal! You also bring up something super interesting here…. We sure do get trained to worry about the future!! Already as a preteen you’re forced to choose direction in high school, which at the time is turned in a way of “this is it” when in fact, it’s a minor detail in the grand scheme of things….
Exactly! So much external pressure to worry, from a very young age. This becomes our natural state eventually. Look at babies and toddlers, they’re not worried about anything. So curious open and present.
Also I meant *consistently training * autocorrect changed to ‘vibrantly’
Yes 💯 I reflect on this frequently as I watch my 3.5 and 1 year old and I ask myself how I can instill a mindset of empowerment (that you have the power to work through whatever difficulties that come) as opposed to worrying and avoidance of discomfort…
Perhaps keeping people in a state of perpetual worry limits our individual abilities to think for ourselves and thus become more dependent on external systems to “take care of us” 🤔🤔
Oh yes! I do believe, with me anyway, that my incessant worry is some kind of defense mechanism. My brain trying to spin up the worst case scenarios so that IF they ever materialize, I will have seen it coming. It’s exhausting 😅
And, it ramped up in motherhood. A worried mother does better investigation than the FBI!
Oh indeed, that a worried mother gets the work done more than the FBi I have no doubt about!
Spontaneously, as we speak about worry, defense mechanisms and ultimately to get things done, I wonder if we can actually look at the worry from a positive perspective… as som kind of super power fuel that can make you power through the biggest mountain because the worry of what would happen if you don’t, is bigger?
For me for example, I’m terrified of having to take “a normal job” and have someone else tell me what to do when where and how. So much so, that it fuels me to get stuff done on my own projects because *if they work out, I’ll be able to continue to do what I love and ultimately be home with my children every day…
Oh Elin. I love this reframe! How the way we defend ourselves from the “what ifs” can fuel our creativity, our energy, and put the wheels in motion. Powerful motion. Ways that serve us best. I love this! And that will help me fuel this Monday. Thank you!
I really appreciate this post. I was just sitting quietly tapping into the same "thread" of consciousness. "what if it's enough of an accomplishment to simply sit in peace for a little while", "What if things are actually working out favorably..." Beautiful words
For me, a lot of my worry is connected to expectations. Expectations are a set up for a potential let down because we cannot control the outcome. Expectations are natural but also a set up for several emotions that are commonly categorized as negative such as disappointment and frustration. Having a mindfulness practice really helps me to eliminate worry via enjoyment of the moments I can control and embody.
Totally, that’s why the idea of “expecting the unexpected” has helped me enormously to take off the pressure that many high expectations otherwise hold… expectations can sure be debilitating!
"What if Substack (the platform I use to host this newsletter-blog) will become like all other mainstream life-sucking social media?"
Hahahaha Elin stop, I am so worried about this. Please.
In all seriousness, this is so good and totally agree with Allison below in that it's all made that little bit worse by the stresses of motherhood, too.
Loooool 😂 I know you are and so are every other person on here too it seems!! Even me at times, but I’m just plain out ignoring it because the idea of it changing will limit my enjoyment of this beautiful space and I’m simply not willing to give up the fun (Or possibilities) that it currently holds 🔥
Love to have you here Ellen and thanks for cracking me up! (And yes to the motherhood thing…. I can only sign under to that!)
Way to strip me back and lay me bare, Elin! Are you in my mind? With every article it feels like you know all my darkest fears. This was a brilliant article and it felt like you were talking directly to my greatest fears. I love the idea of just focusing on what is or reframing the what it to something positive!
Haha mission accomplished 🥂 I always write my pieces as gentle reminders to myself, so I guess you and I share a lot of similar fears and reflections then! We all worry and I’m sick of worrying, so reframing it as a source of positive energy and motivation rather than a draining black hole has been absolutely transformative for me (especially having young kids) ❤️
I can relate to this. But as a person who does engage in "free trials" it's not because I don't feel like paying. I truly don't have anything to give right now financially (due to my recent divorce, in which my ex has weaponized the legal system against me and sucked everything he can from me), but if I can keep reading your good-for-my soul-right-now content, I WOULD pay when I can, it just might take awhile. I am hopeful, and your writing contributes to that hope. 🌈 Thank you! ✨️
Oh dear I can only imagine how life-suckingly-awful that must be!!! Sending you all my love and energy to get through this time, because you will ❤️ I’m grateful to have you here and don’t worry, I didn’t intend to be offensive in any way! Personally I haven’t turned on the paid feature at all as of right now and when I do in the near future I will still keep a majority for free so rest assured that I’m more than thrilled to have you along the journey as an avid reader no matter how you support 🥰🥰 my comment was mostly a reflection of the worries/concerns I’ve seen expressed by other writers, whereas I think like you describe (and it’s my experience from already running an art membership too), that one should never expect anything in return but always still stay generous ❤️
Thinking about the future is okay, worrying about it is pointless. Things will change, and there's nothing we can do about it (the change, that is). But we can make the most of the time now, gaining the experience that makes us be likely to survive the onslaught that change may bring.
And enable us to change with the change 💯 sometimes I wonder if the fear of change is also connected to the idea that it’s also a bad thing to change as a person, where I find it to be a part of the natural evolution… we all change and grow and that is an inherent part of being human. Just as changing circumstances is an inherent part of the human experience on earth 🙏🏼
Great topic to discuss, especially on this platform Elin. You hit the nail on the head.
Not to brag or anything, but I am the queen of worry. And then I worry about worrying ☺️. I actually wrote a bit on this very topic 👇. It’s meant to be funny and hopefully you get a few laughs.
Haha worry about worrying, spot on! I’ve been guilty about this one too haha, I’ll definitely check out the article when I get a quiet minute thanks for sharing 🥰
Elin, first of all… your needlepoint, tho!! You had me at your writing. 🥰
Next, I’ve had to really give a think on this question, as I don’t consider myself a worrier, per se. I’m strongly deliberate, methodical, get bogged down in the prep of a thing (took me a good three months of researching writing platforms to get to the point of writing this to you today), which I suppose is a form of worry. That I’ll make the wrong decision, waste precious energy and time… fail in a way that doesn’t feel supportive of growth. But I do get there. I’ve become aware of the ties that bind me and I insist on making them work for me.
And to your great point on just doing our thing here on SS, this lovely place that many fear will suffer the known modern corruptions any second, I’d like to add—energy brings like energy. Aka, what we bear here invites, supports, cultivates more of the same. What we think becomes what we do, so let’s just think and do the thing!! 🧡
Ah thanks Bree! I’m so glad you like it 🥰 I’m thinking of how to incorporate more of my art (also want to do more sketching/drawing on here to in addition to the embroidery…) into this space as a complement to my writing…. Do you happen to have any ideas/wishes for how you’d like to see it?
I love the “energy brings energy” because it’s exactly how I see it too! You can turn any space into anything depending on how you perceive it… what’s your friend one day can become your enemy the next.
I’m so excited to have you here so that we can cultivate the positive creative and inspirational energy together 🥰🥂
Love!! And exactly how you did it is so wonderful; appropriate, complementary without being sales-y. Fits so well with your writing, I think following your gut on it will nail it. 😉🤓
And cheers right back at you!! Cultivating creative and inspirational positivity together? I’m with you all the way. 🙌🏻✨🥂
Oh you’re speaking my language, Elin. Worry! It’s my mother tongue. 😅
For me, writing is how I work through my worries. It’s cathartic and I’m learning that by letting others see my insecurities and the fear that can make itself comfortable in my brain, it moves along quicker. The power diffuses and I feel more myself once the words are out of me.
I love this piece. It reminds me of something I tell my kids all the time as to their sports - “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”
That translates here. If we don’t allow ourselves to get creative and use this platform the way we truly want to - to own it like you say, why use it in the first place? You’ll never build the thing you are here to build if you hold back.
Thanks for the continued inspiration you provide here! ✨✨
YES you miss 100% of the shots you don't take!! I want to say this to my kids too when the day comes...
Thank you for being here Allison, always appreciate your contributions to the conversation!
Worrying is a universal achilles. My grandmother could win a prize for her creative imagination when it comes to all the scenarios she worries about (and which thankfully has so far never happened)...
I wonder if it's a primal survival mechanism to worry... a way to sort of "stay out of trouble", just that it has been amplified and debilitating us in our modern societies... what do you think?
Thank you for this. As a younger person, especially with how many other people my age have been expressing so much doubt, the whole "what if" thing takes over the brain sometimes when it comes to my creative endeavors. Things like this help remind me to take a step back and stop worrying so much about the future.
Yes especially being young! Your advantage is that you have plenty of time to make mistakes and still get back at it again ✨ it’s such a shame that so many today are doubtful, whether young or old!
I find that since creating an incredible amount of stability in my life over the years, I no longer wonder what if’s about myself. I am inevitable (Thanos voice). I do worry about others… a lot. Particularly sudden or unexpected death. I recognize it as a control thing (isn’t it always 🙄) because death is never convenient. Even if aware of its imminence in the case of like a terminal illness and witnessing one’s decline, we are never “prepared”. The idea of being sideswiped and unsure of how I’ll respond is a thing for me.
Substack was an oasis I found on the internet, because as much as I like the visual oriented mainstream social media, I have to develop skills (like video and such) I don’t own completely and I’m a long text person, from the blog-era and the first wave of online content, so I found a place to write and be read and get confidence to build an online presence starting with my strongest skill, which is writing. From this on, I want to translate what I create here to the other social platforms, even though the audience on Instagram or TikTok may be smaller or less engaged and the content may need to have different elements. That’s challenging, but I must try.
Oh this is such an interesting angle! As someone who come from other visual platforms having built my business there for the past 7 years I’m super intrigued to hear your motivations to move over to other social media later on? What I love about Substack is the seamless integration between social media aspect (notes) and to build your own email list (biggest business asset)
I've always followed and have been very keen on, since my early teenage years, the dynamics and growth of online content relevance in all areas and specially in fashion communication, field I work in and want to communicate and connect with an interesting and interested audience through it, in my online channels - for them to be a source of knowledge, information and points of view about the world through perceptions I ellaborate on fashion and culture in relatable and fun way. I didn't invest in the current mainstream social media when they were more organic 'cause I didn't feel confident about creating visual content in an authentic, consistent and cohesive way, that made sense for Instagram or TikTok, for example. I have this kind of 'blockage', and as I got to know about Substack, that is writing-focused, I decided to start a newsletter to practice my writing, discover my voice as a content creator, gain confidence, and thus understand how to use the mainstream platforms, as the business they are today, to enhance it and build a consistent community/audience. I don't exactly how to do it ahahahaha but I want to start to find out from this year on.
Thanks for writing this. It’s truly comforting to know that there are other creatives out there who treat their craft as a business and the elements of fun sometimes get ambushed by worry. Coming back to yourself and being present is key. It’s so difficult though since we’re vibrantly training our minds to think and *worry* about the future.
Thanks Crystal! You also bring up something super interesting here…. We sure do get trained to worry about the future!! Already as a preteen you’re forced to choose direction in high school, which at the time is turned in a way of “this is it” when in fact, it’s a minor detail in the grand scheme of things….
Exactly! So much external pressure to worry, from a very young age. This becomes our natural state eventually. Look at babies and toddlers, they’re not worried about anything. So curious open and present.
Also I meant *consistently training * autocorrect changed to ‘vibrantly’
Yes 💯 I reflect on this frequently as I watch my 3.5 and 1 year old and I ask myself how I can instill a mindset of empowerment (that you have the power to work through whatever difficulties that come) as opposed to worrying and avoidance of discomfort…
Perhaps keeping people in a state of perpetual worry limits our individual abilities to think for ourselves and thus become more dependent on external systems to “take care of us” 🤔🤔
Thanks for this convo, I love this stuff haha 🤓
Oh yes! I do believe, with me anyway, that my incessant worry is some kind of defense mechanism. My brain trying to spin up the worst case scenarios so that IF they ever materialize, I will have seen it coming. It’s exhausting 😅
And, it ramped up in motherhood. A worried mother does better investigation than the FBI!
Thanks for this conversation 🙏🏼
Helps move it all along!
Oh indeed, that a worried mother gets the work done more than the FBi I have no doubt about!
Spontaneously, as we speak about worry, defense mechanisms and ultimately to get things done, I wonder if we can actually look at the worry from a positive perspective… as som kind of super power fuel that can make you power through the biggest mountain because the worry of what would happen if you don’t, is bigger?
For me for example, I’m terrified of having to take “a normal job” and have someone else tell me what to do when where and how. So much so, that it fuels me to get stuff done on my own projects because *if they work out, I’ll be able to continue to do what I love and ultimately be home with my children every day…
Oh Elin. I love this reframe! How the way we defend ourselves from the “what ifs” can fuel our creativity, our energy, and put the wheels in motion. Powerful motion. Ways that serve us best. I love this! And that will help me fuel this Monday. Thank you!
I really appreciate this post. I was just sitting quietly tapping into the same "thread" of consciousness. "what if it's enough of an accomplishment to simply sit in peace for a little while", "What if things are actually working out favorably..." Beautiful words
Yes 💯 what if everything will work out amazingly and what a shame it would be to then have wasted energy thinking otherwise ?!
Great advice. I needed this reminder for my life as well. 🙏🙏
Yay I’m so glad thanks for being here!
For me, a lot of my worry is connected to expectations. Expectations are a set up for a potential let down because we cannot control the outcome. Expectations are natural but also a set up for several emotions that are commonly categorized as negative such as disappointment and frustration. Having a mindfulness practice really helps me to eliminate worry via enjoyment of the moments I can control and embody.
Totally, that’s why the idea of “expecting the unexpected” has helped me enormously to take off the pressure that many high expectations otherwise hold… expectations can sure be debilitating!
"What if Substack (the platform I use to host this newsletter-blog) will become like all other mainstream life-sucking social media?"
Hahahaha Elin stop, I am so worried about this. Please.
In all seriousness, this is so good and totally agree with Allison below in that it's all made that little bit worse by the stresses of motherhood, too.
Loooool 😂 I know you are and so are every other person on here too it seems!! Even me at times, but I’m just plain out ignoring it because the idea of it changing will limit my enjoyment of this beautiful space and I’m simply not willing to give up the fun (Or possibilities) that it currently holds 🔥
Love to have you here Ellen and thanks for cracking me up! (And yes to the motherhood thing…. I can only sign under to that!)
Way to strip me back and lay me bare, Elin! Are you in my mind? With every article it feels like you know all my darkest fears. This was a brilliant article and it felt like you were talking directly to my greatest fears. I love the idea of just focusing on what is or reframing the what it to something positive!
Haha mission accomplished 🥂 I always write my pieces as gentle reminders to myself, so I guess you and I share a lot of similar fears and reflections then! We all worry and I’m sick of worrying, so reframing it as a source of positive energy and motivation rather than a draining black hole has been absolutely transformative for me (especially having young kids) ❤️
I can relate to this. But as a person who does engage in "free trials" it's not because I don't feel like paying. I truly don't have anything to give right now financially (due to my recent divorce, in which my ex has weaponized the legal system against me and sucked everything he can from me), but if I can keep reading your good-for-my soul-right-now content, I WOULD pay when I can, it just might take awhile. I am hopeful, and your writing contributes to that hope. 🌈 Thank you! ✨️
Oh dear I can only imagine how life-suckingly-awful that must be!!! Sending you all my love and energy to get through this time, because you will ❤️ I’m grateful to have you here and don’t worry, I didn’t intend to be offensive in any way! Personally I haven’t turned on the paid feature at all as of right now and when I do in the near future I will still keep a majority for free so rest assured that I’m more than thrilled to have you along the journey as an avid reader no matter how you support 🥰🥰 my comment was mostly a reflection of the worries/concerns I’ve seen expressed by other writers, whereas I think like you describe (and it’s my experience from already running an art membership too), that one should never expect anything in return but always still stay generous ❤️
Thank you so much for your words of encouragement, Elin! ~:0)
Thinking about the future is okay, worrying about it is pointless. Things will change, and there's nothing we can do about it (the change, that is). But we can make the most of the time now, gaining the experience that makes us be likely to survive the onslaught that change may bring.
And enable us to change with the change 💯 sometimes I wonder if the fear of change is also connected to the idea that it’s also a bad thing to change as a person, where I find it to be a part of the natural evolution… we all change and grow and that is an inherent part of being human. Just as changing circumstances is an inherent part of the human experience on earth 🙏🏼
Yeah, this too. We don't want to change. At times (and this is worse), we doubt our ability to change; we think we cannot adapt.
Great topic to discuss, especially on this platform Elin. You hit the nail on the head.
Not to brag or anything, but I am the queen of worry. And then I worry about worrying ☺️. I actually wrote a bit on this very topic 👇. It’s meant to be funny and hopefully you get a few laughs.
https://open.substack.com/pub/charlenealofs/p/worrying-is-silly-business?r=p8vx8&utm_medium=ios&utm_campaign=post
Haha worry about worrying, spot on! I’ve been guilty about this one too haha, I’ll definitely check out the article when I get a quiet minute thanks for sharing 🥰
Elin, first of all… your needlepoint, tho!! You had me at your writing. 🥰
Next, I’ve had to really give a think on this question, as I don’t consider myself a worrier, per se. I’m strongly deliberate, methodical, get bogged down in the prep of a thing (took me a good three months of researching writing platforms to get to the point of writing this to you today), which I suppose is a form of worry. That I’ll make the wrong decision, waste precious energy and time… fail in a way that doesn’t feel supportive of growth. But I do get there. I’ve become aware of the ties that bind me and I insist on making them work for me.
And to your great point on just doing our thing here on SS, this lovely place that many fear will suffer the known modern corruptions any second, I’d like to add—energy brings like energy. Aka, what we bear here invites, supports, cultivates more of the same. What we think becomes what we do, so let’s just think and do the thing!! 🧡
Ah thanks Bree! I’m so glad you like it 🥰 I’m thinking of how to incorporate more of my art (also want to do more sketching/drawing on here to in addition to the embroidery…) into this space as a complement to my writing…. Do you happen to have any ideas/wishes for how you’d like to see it?
I love the “energy brings energy” because it’s exactly how I see it too! You can turn any space into anything depending on how you perceive it… what’s your friend one day can become your enemy the next.
I’m so excited to have you here so that we can cultivate the positive creative and inspirational energy together 🥰🥂
Love!! And exactly how you did it is so wonderful; appropriate, complementary without being sales-y. Fits so well with your writing, I think following your gut on it will nail it. 😉🤓
And cheers right back at you!! Cultivating creative and inspirational positivity together? I’m with you all the way. 🙌🏻✨🥂
Yay amazing, thanks so much for the feedback 🥰🙏🏼✨
Oh you’re speaking my language, Elin. Worry! It’s my mother tongue. 😅
For me, writing is how I work through my worries. It’s cathartic and I’m learning that by letting others see my insecurities and the fear that can make itself comfortable in my brain, it moves along quicker. The power diffuses and I feel more myself once the words are out of me.
I love this piece. It reminds me of something I tell my kids all the time as to their sports - “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”
That translates here. If we don’t allow ourselves to get creative and use this platform the way we truly want to - to own it like you say, why use it in the first place? You’ll never build the thing you are here to build if you hold back.
Thanks for the continued inspiration you provide here! ✨✨
YES you miss 100% of the shots you don't take!! I want to say this to my kids too when the day comes...
Thank you for being here Allison, always appreciate your contributions to the conversation!
Worrying is a universal achilles. My grandmother could win a prize for her creative imagination when it comes to all the scenarios she worries about (and which thankfully has so far never happened)...
I wonder if it's a primal survival mechanism to worry... a way to sort of "stay out of trouble", just that it has been amplified and debilitating us in our modern societies... what do you think?
xx
Kudos on creating such an elegant and beautiful embroidery… And unusual. And a "You go girl" for a terrific attitude.
Thank Tina! I appreciate you 👏
Thank you for this. As a younger person, especially with how many other people my age have been expressing so much doubt, the whole "what if" thing takes over the brain sometimes when it comes to my creative endeavors. Things like this help remind me to take a step back and stop worrying so much about the future.
Yes especially being young! Your advantage is that you have plenty of time to make mistakes and still get back at it again ✨ it’s such a shame that so many today are doubtful, whether young or old!
I find that since creating an incredible amount of stability in my life over the years, I no longer wonder what if’s about myself. I am inevitable (Thanos voice). I do worry about others… a lot. Particularly sudden or unexpected death. I recognize it as a control thing (isn’t it always 🙄) because death is never convenient. Even if aware of its imminence in the case of like a terminal illness and witnessing one’s decline, we are never “prepared”. The idea of being sideswiped and unsure of how I’ll respond is a thing for me.
Yeah I can totally understand what you mean, death is something one can contemplate on but don’t fully know how it will feel until it’s here… ❤️
That’s exactly it!
Substack was an oasis I found on the internet, because as much as I like the visual oriented mainstream social media, I have to develop skills (like video and such) I don’t own completely and I’m a long text person, from the blog-era and the first wave of online content, so I found a place to write and be read and get confidence to build an online presence starting with my strongest skill, which is writing. From this on, I want to translate what I create here to the other social platforms, even though the audience on Instagram or TikTok may be smaller or less engaged and the content may need to have different elements. That’s challenging, but I must try.
Oh this is such an interesting angle! As someone who come from other visual platforms having built my business there for the past 7 years I’m super intrigued to hear your motivations to move over to other social media later on? What I love about Substack is the seamless integration between social media aspect (notes) and to build your own email list (biggest business asset)
I've always followed and have been very keen on, since my early teenage years, the dynamics and growth of online content relevance in all areas and specially in fashion communication, field I work in and want to communicate and connect with an interesting and interested audience through it, in my online channels - for them to be a source of knowledge, information and points of view about the world through perceptions I ellaborate on fashion and culture in relatable and fun way. I didn't invest in the current mainstream social media when they were more organic 'cause I didn't feel confident about creating visual content in an authentic, consistent and cohesive way, that made sense for Instagram or TikTok, for example. I have this kind of 'blockage', and as I got to know about Substack, that is writing-focused, I decided to start a newsletter to practice my writing, discover my voice as a content creator, gain confidence, and thus understand how to use the mainstream platforms, as the business they are today, to enhance it and build a consistent community/audience. I don't exactly how to do it ahahahaha but I want to start to find out from this year on.