Hello from Montana, USA! I'm excited for you as you begin this new writing adventure! :) As a mom of two girls at the other end of the age spectrum--my youngest is 17 and oldest is going to be 20 in January! 🤯 --I want to applaud and encourage you in going against the grain. Part of what you're experiencing--your internal strife and self-blame for supposedly not getting "anything" done--is the result of having unwittingly absorbed our societies' views on what a "successful" woman is. I grew up in the 80's and 90's, where it was very much pushed on us females to do and be everything our male counterparts could do and be. Yet I wanted to be a stay-home mom, ever since I could remember. I went to college for an education since I wasn't assured of getting married or being able to stay home with my kids, but God blessed me with both. So it came as a shock when I became a mom and suddenly I was thinking, "Wait, I'm not JUST a mom. I'm more than that!" And for a time, I became resentful of the very thing I had wanted all my life, simply because I had subconsciously taken on what society had pushed at me for 26+ years of public schooling and movies and commercials and books and magazine articles, etc.
Society says women aren't enough if they're "just" mothers and homemakers, yet those are arguably the most important jobs a woman can have. Yes, it requires self-sacrifice and patience and compassion and more patience and more sacrifice, but we're better women for it--and our families are better for it. No, it doesn't come with an income, but I know from experience (and statistics show) that children would rather have the presence of their parents than fancy vacations and more "stuff" to pack into their bedrooms.
So continue following your God-given gut; He gives mothers amazing instincts and abilities, because we're fashioning the next generation; we're keeping these little human beings alive, who would get into all sorts of messes if we weren't there to guide them, love them, protect them. It's an unbelievable responsibility that seems overwhelming when you're in the toddler trenches. Being on the other side, I'll tell you (like every middle-aged woman told the younger-me) it IS amazing how fast the years go by. You won't regret giving of yourself during this season of life; life WILL continue for you after the toddler and grade-school years are done. 18 years seem like a lifetime (18 is when Americans typically graduate high school and head off to college) when we're holding infants in our arms, but in the grand scheme of life, it's short; and they're precious years.
May you be encouraged to keep plodding forward through the toddler trenches. Thankfully, we only have to deal with it one day at a time!
Thank you so much for this thoughtful and encouraging comment. I certainly think you’re right when it comes to the unrealistic expectations that are put on women today and which unfortunately makes their way into the subconscious whether you want to or not.
I actually wrote a piece yesterday about how “you can have it all, just not at the same time”, reflecting this same idea of various things needing more priority at different times in life such as being present while the kids are still little.
My mom ran her sewing business from home when I grew up so that she could always be there when my brother and I were home. I remember how I was always grateful to know that she was there and I want to give the same confidence to my children. It’s not just the statistics, it’s the everyday testimonials that are witnessing the same thing. So I want to do everything that is in my power to keep it that way despite the massive criticism I’ve received from my surroundings (isn’t that strange?! I wonder if it comes from their gut feeling to follow societal codes or not?)...
Grateful to have you here in the community and for following along - and a little reminder that it will all be worth it is never bad when your in the midst of sleep deprivation.
Hello from Montana, USA! I'm excited for you as you begin this new writing adventure! :) As a mom of two girls at the other end of the age spectrum--my youngest is 17 and oldest is going to be 20 in January! 🤯 --I want to applaud and encourage you in going against the grain. Part of what you're experiencing--your internal strife and self-blame for supposedly not getting "anything" done--is the result of having unwittingly absorbed our societies' views on what a "successful" woman is. I grew up in the 80's and 90's, where it was very much pushed on us females to do and be everything our male counterparts could do and be. Yet I wanted to be a stay-home mom, ever since I could remember. I went to college for an education since I wasn't assured of getting married or being able to stay home with my kids, but God blessed me with both. So it came as a shock when I became a mom and suddenly I was thinking, "Wait, I'm not JUST a mom. I'm more than that!" And for a time, I became resentful of the very thing I had wanted all my life, simply because I had subconsciously taken on what society had pushed at me for 26+ years of public schooling and movies and commercials and books and magazine articles, etc.
Society says women aren't enough if they're "just" mothers and homemakers, yet those are arguably the most important jobs a woman can have. Yes, it requires self-sacrifice and patience and compassion and more patience and more sacrifice, but we're better women for it--and our families are better for it. No, it doesn't come with an income, but I know from experience (and statistics show) that children would rather have the presence of their parents than fancy vacations and more "stuff" to pack into their bedrooms.
So continue following your God-given gut; He gives mothers amazing instincts and abilities, because we're fashioning the next generation; we're keeping these little human beings alive, who would get into all sorts of messes if we weren't there to guide them, love them, protect them. It's an unbelievable responsibility that seems overwhelming when you're in the toddler trenches. Being on the other side, I'll tell you (like every middle-aged woman told the younger-me) it IS amazing how fast the years go by. You won't regret giving of yourself during this season of life; life WILL continue for you after the toddler and grade-school years are done. 18 years seem like a lifetime (18 is when Americans typically graduate high school and head off to college) when we're holding infants in our arms, but in the grand scheme of life, it's short; and they're precious years.
May you be encouraged to keep plodding forward through the toddler trenches. Thankfully, we only have to deal with it one day at a time!
Blessings,
Laurie Germaine
Dear Laurie,
Thank you so much for this thoughtful and encouraging comment. I certainly think you’re right when it comes to the unrealistic expectations that are put on women today and which unfortunately makes their way into the subconscious whether you want to or not.
I actually wrote a piece yesterday about how “you can have it all, just not at the same time”, reflecting this same idea of various things needing more priority at different times in life such as being present while the kids are still little.
My mom ran her sewing business from home when I grew up so that she could always be there when my brother and I were home. I remember how I was always grateful to know that she was there and I want to give the same confidence to my children. It’s not just the statistics, it’s the everyday testimonials that are witnessing the same thing. So I want to do everything that is in my power to keep it that way despite the massive criticism I’ve received from my surroundings (isn’t that strange?! I wonder if it comes from their gut feeling to follow societal codes or not?)...
Grateful to have you here in the community and for following along - and a little reminder that it will all be worth it is never bad when your in the midst of sleep deprivation.
Warmly, Elin