Are we allowed to be a work-in-progress?

You don't have to have anything figured out, that's why your gut is here to guide you through the noise

Hi there,

How are you doing?

Have you ever experience being put into the wrong box? Or just any box really..

Suffocating.

I hate boxes and frequently wonder why society has this obsession of binary thinking.

Instead of embracing people as complex beings where numerous realities can be true at the same time, “someone” tells us that we need to put a label on everything. Either you’re in this box, or you’re out.

But what about us with a foot in many? Aren’t we allowed to be a work-in-progress in numerous areas, without being deemed as “failed” (or whatever other label that comes to mind).

A silly example: I haven’t figured out yet if I’m into tea or not. Sometimes I am, other times I’m definitely not.

The same goes for a lot of things. More profound things, too.

If there’s anything I’m allergic to it’s the comment “Oh, but you are like x”.

→ Am I? Or, was I? Maybe I’ve changed?

Just as all living organisms on our planet constantly grow and evolve, so do we as humans. We’re never in a static state, though the boxes try their best to keep us steady.

Sometimes I daydream of being a leopard, sleeping under a tree on the Savannah only to wake up and stretch my body twice my normal length.

Binary thinking probably does nobody any good accept for those in positions to control our whereabouts.

I think that one of the most revolutionary acts one can do today is to be a cross-boxer. To obnoxiously refuse externally set labels and to embrace ourselves as a constant work-in-progress. It’s liberating really. Like the biggest permission slip you can give yourself.

Repeat after me: I don’t have to know this stuff, but I can take agency and DO IT ANYWAY!

We don’t have to have anything figured out. At least not for the long-term, because things are guaranteed to change anyway.

→ Online business is a terrific example.

What worked two years ago, heck even two months ago, may not work today. So rather than becoming an expert at a specific process, we should become experts at being forever work-in-progress (as in: adopting a flexible mindset). We should get comfortable not knowing and to accept that whatever we currently don’t know, can be figured out when we need it, until another pivot is necessary.

Both my husband and I have been prolifically criticized for changing our minds a lot. For years I felt bad about it. Like, why can’t we just “be satisfied” or “settled”.

But now I look at it differently.

We unconsciously adapted a “I have no idea, but let’s try” attitude since the beginning. Sometimes it works, other times it doesn’t.

But when something doesn’t feel good, there’s no hesitation to spice things up. It can be something as easy as driving to a new town and have a stroll. Eat something different for dinner, or inject some other fresh energy to feel alive again.

I think sameness makes us stagnant.

To me at least, it’s what depletes me more than anything. When I don’t play or try things I become numb. If I don’t get challenged I can forget to see my creative muse altogether. She simply won’t show up.

This may be different for other professions that aren’t as heavily dependent on creativity to advance. But if you’re someone currently working or aspiring to work with something that requires a creative muse to be your friend, I think you better become familiar with the discomfort of not knowing what you’re doing.

For example: I’m currently writing a romantic novel. I’ve never done that before. I don’t know what I’m doing or where it will end. It’s just my gut who tells me I’ve got to write it. It’s like stronger than me.

I don’t have the resources or time, but I'm doing it anyway.

This is the work of being an artist. It’s also the reality of being a mother (or parent).

Sometimes I think I’ve got this motherhood thing figured out, until I get a slap in my face (not literally) and I feel as though I’m back at zero.

Each new growth phase with my children becomes an opportunity for me as a mother to use my “OK, let’s try to figure it out for today” muscles. I don’t have the answers, but I know I have what it takes to get through being a work-in-progress.

Nothing has improved my mental health more than the daily reminder: You don’t have to have it figured out.

More often than not, time and place will show you when and what to do. You just have to keep faith that as long as you keep showing up as your imperfect self, you’ll be brought to places you can’t even imagine today.

Ten years ago I couldn’t even imagine that I’d be approaching a decade of full-time artistry (and 5 years as a mum!). I always loved art and knew it would be a big part of my life… But it’s nothing people do as actual work, is it?

Turns out it is. And it’s bloody brilliant (and completely exhausting too). Just like motherhood!

Two (and more) realities can be true at the same time:

• We can love our children deeply, while still desiring to work on our own passions

• We can love being working artists but still dream about the comfort of having someone else tell us what to do… and a steady pay-check.

• We can adore our husbands and want to stay married, but still dream of running away on adventure solo

It’s up to us to accept ourselves for the complexities of being alive. That we don’t need to be put into boxes nor strive to be perfect. Imperfect is better, truly.

Thank you so much for reading!

Elin xx

Now to you:

• Do you feel like you have to have things figured out?

• Or do you allow yourself to simply be in your non-figured-outness?

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Hi there!

I’m Elin Petronella, artist, writer and mother of two. In Follow Your Gut I write about my soon decade long independent artist career and how every time I diverge from my intuition it screws me over. Let’s trust our instincts and operate accordingly!

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Ps. Paying readers get access to the paid Mother-Artist column, deep dive intuitive art business essays as well as an instant download of my book “When Will You Get A Real Job”.

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Me at a bakery when we lived in Paris