Time to reframe expectations around life as an artist; FULL chapter from my book
Your conscious and unconscious expectations may have a greater impact on your success as an independent artist than you’d expect…
Hi there,
In case you’ve read the last few letters, you know that I’m in the midst of re-reading and re-editing my first self-published book When will you get a real job.
Ps. Special thanks to you who’ve already taken the leap of faith and upgraded your access to Follow Your Gut Publication. You’ll receive your digital copy of the book in the next 3 weeks ❣️
The re-editing is a labour of love for multiple reasons, but the two main ones are;
Realizing that we made it (I wrote the book as a real-time case study reflecting the journey of a young artist couple (my husband and I) paving their way to independent artistry.) While writing it I was transparent about the uncertain future of how long it would last. Well, the book was first published 2019 and our art business is still here in 2024, a pandemic and 2 children later. It feels huge.
Realizing that I’m for the first time in my creative career in a position where people (you ❤️) have signed up to read my words and not only for the visual art I make (and teach). I always dreamt of becoming a writer and to some extent that already happened… a large part of marketing and building an art business involves writing copy. But this time it’s different. It’s writing at a completely different level. A heart-level of sorts.
You know I’m all about transparency and inviting you behind the scenes. So while I’m at it, I wanted to share an extract from the book that I think had (and still has) a huge impact on the way I approach my artistry and which I believe may be impactful for you too.
How can I be so sure?
I can almost guarantee that a majority of you who read this have heard someone (or yourself) say a version of:
“If I only had more time or money I’d do more art/go for my dreams/write more…ect…”
What this saying tells us more than anything, is that the person uttering the words most likely expect (consciously or unconsciously) that their artistry cannot lead to more time and money by itself. Rather, that art is something that requires time and money to begin with…
Without further ado:
Chapter 2: What to expect?
“No expectations are the best expectations”.
This is one of the best advices I’ve ever received. It was given to me on the first day when I arrived to my grass-hut home in Nompondo, a tiny village outside of the small town of Hluhluwe, KwaZulu Natal in South Africa.
The words have marked my experiences around the world ever since.
It just makes so much sense.
If you have high expectations you’re more prone to disappointment, which never feels good. Without high expectations on the other hand, you’re more likely to have a positive experience “above expectation”.
(Ps. The expectation part in the hut was as related to the overall experience of living in a completely new climate and culture as the actual reality of enormous spiders making babies in the grass-roof…)
Why is the point about expectation important for aspiring artists?
Because when we’re in the middle of events or processes we can never know the amplifications that they might have for the future. Therefore, to judge an experience too quickly based on an ungrounded expectation is simply to limit ourselves in advance.
To minimise my expectations as much as possible has been essential on the road to full time independent artistry.
When I think of friends or people we meet, most of them dream of another reality for themselves: “If I just had more time or money I would…”
You would do what?
If you expect to not make it with your art before you even try, you’ll never make it.
When I met Charles I got numerous warnings from friends such as; “He’s just charming you, he’ll change his mind”.
Naturally this created an alarm inside of me. I tried to play it cool for the first few weeks and answered Charles’ marriage proposals by saying; “Chill, we’re just dating”. (He actually asked me to marry him about 297 times before I said an official yes… That is, everyday for 10 months straight).
But then it hit me. Why did I expect him to be a jerk just because others told me so? What do I or others base our judgements on? Stereotypes.
Stereotypes that have been created from others’ experiences that are not our own. I think no one can break out of the cycle of societal expectations if we don’t let go of the societal stereotypes. Because those stereotypes may very well turn into self-fulfilling prophecies and even become embodied as personal truths if we aren’t careful (and aware!).
This applies to the stereotype of the starving artist too. I can bet that you’ve also received warnings about taking the artistic route.
“Be aware, you’ll live poor for the rest of your life”, or “To be an artist is not a liable career path”.
Society at large likes the idea of the struggling artist. It even has a strangely romanticized image attached to it, which high-end collectors seem to enjoy whereas it’s significantly less romantic for the artists who live it everyday.
Unfortunately, a great majority will never make it partly due to this pre-conditioned mental barrier (especially if you want to reach success within your own lifetime…)
Jeff Goins says in his book “Real artists don’t starve”, that the ones who make it to the top are those who realise that they must break free from the stereotype of the starving artist.
We must realise that to make money is an essential part of making art. Money will buy us time to make more art.
The immediate follow-up question is then; How to make money with art?
This is just one of the questions that I address throughout this book.
I share in reflective writing how Charles and I managed to go through our first couple of years as independent artists with roof over our heads and food on our table (and no external backing). Thanks to the internet and Social Media, the playing-field has drastically changed.
There is unlimited free information online about everything and anything. But it’s up to everyone to decide to look for it. It’s up to us to decide to take the time and make the efforts to learn about entrepreneurship, just as much as one must learn about the art itself.
When I realised that it was empty expectations that held me back from realising my dreams, I decided to let go.
I let go of my internal alarm clock and told myself that if Charles for some reason would change his mind, at least I would know that I had given it my all. The worst thing that could happen at that stage of my life was that I would gain a ton of experiences, which would allow me to make better decisions down the road based on my own experience (not other’s).
There’s an expression in Swedish that comes to mind as I write this: “Måla inte fan på väggen”. It translates to something like “Don’t paint fuck on the wall”.
I find it to be a very good illustration of expectations in general. Let’s not paint fuck on the wall based on assumptions or stereotypes.
It’s more difficult to change a deeply rooted pre-existing idea than to create a new one. But I invite you, dear reader, to consider the limiting conditioning that you are/have been exposed to and how it’s impacting you to take the next step. Maybe it’s time to let go?
Even though it might sound like this whole mindset deal was easy for me, it took a lot of work and time. It’s not easy to change. It never has been and it most likely never will be.
What makes the difference is whether you’re willing to change, put the time and work to fight for your dreams or not. With honest willingness, you can take on the how-part with greater enthusiasm and you’re more likely to find your way through the mess.
It won’t be easy. It will be bumpy. But at the end of the tunnel there will be light.
Just be sure to minimise your expectations along the road.
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I’d love to know: When have you been served (or not served) by having expectations in your life?
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This book insight is a part of my launch series for the upgrade of my publication. Everyone who chooses to upgrade to a paid subscription of my publication Follow Your Gut during the editing phase will receive a digital version of the book (kindle format) as soon as it’s completed (20th April the latest!).
Having created the Follow Your Gut publication as my new writing home I want to experiment making it the ‘writer home’ in every sense including both the publication essays and books, this will be fun!
What some readers are saying ❤️
Thank you so much for reading and for being here,
Elin, xx
If you enjoyed this and want to check out some more of my writing, you may love:
I remember a friend worrying because she'd been warned by other friends that the man she'd fallen in love with was a serial monogamist, and he'd leave her too after 10 years as he had the previous two women. I suggested she mark it in her long-term calendar so she wouldn't be caught by surprise if it did turn out that way, and enjoy herself in the meantime. They're still happily together well past that date.
This is so exciting! Can’t wait to read the whole thing! 💖