Balance is an illusion too good to give up
We’re all on the same train
Hi there,
I’m sat in the corner of our blue sofa, with headphones popped in, doing my best to ignore the chaos around.
I mean, it’s been worse, but there’s always a worse. And I think that the relativity principle doesn’t really help anyone feel better or more productive anyway, so I prefer to scrap that thought-process entirely.
Talking of scrapping stuff, I feel an urge to scrap the whole idea of balance altogether.
I don’t think it exists.
We’re either too this or too that (I am at least), and maybe that’s exactly how it’s supposed to be?
Just think of nature, it’s always a quest of regaining equilibrium, until it’s reached, and then gets thrown out again so that the process to reclaim equilibrium can start over. People are no different. When detached from our digital selves, we are also part of nature and strive for balance for eternity.
We expand and shrink along the seasons. Not just the factual seasons but our internal ones too.
Balance should mean to be in movement.
Fluctuating.
To be in harmony with the reality that there is in fact no destination and that uncertainty and change is the only thing we know will persist.
To scrap the strive for balance is a liberation. A liberation from wasted energy in trying to figure out the formula to an equation that has no answer.
Because if you are to give me an answer, it’s only as relevant to me as snow is to a tropical animal.
By the way, speaking of relevance, did you know that there are at least 10 ways to say rain in Swedish? It’s basically different variations of the rain to give more information about how one should relate to it (like, how long it might stay, whether it’s windy as well or just really shitty wet air).
Ösregn : a lot of rain
Duggregn: a little bit of rain
Blöt luft : wet air
Spöregn : a lot of rain
Hällregn : a lot of rain
Regnskur : rain that is just passing
Skyfall : a lot of very fast rain
Blötsnö : cold rain, on the merge to be snow
Ihållande regn : rain that won’t stop
Slagregn :rain with a lot of wind from the side
But to have these many ways of saying rain is not relevant for someone who doesn’t live where it rains a lot. It’s either rain or no rain. Maybe there are places in the south with a lot of ways to describe sunshine? Would be interesting to know.
I used the rain analogy to say that the how-to culture we live in is actually pretty crappy in terms of how it’s a one-size-fits-nobody.
What’s balance for you is wacky for me and vice versa. That’s ok, of course.
Where it gets complicated is when it’s applied to lifestyle because everyone’s reality is different. One may operate their art business under extreme financial pressure, whereas another has their bills taken care of elsewhere, so they can afford to freely dish out opinions on how yucky it is to promote yourself.
The same goes with motherhood. One may have no choice but to put their children in childcare, whereas another chooses to do so. They both have the reality of childcare, but their relationship to it is vastly different, but how can we know?
Balance to me feels like yet another flash-word to make those who feel as though they’re still on the “trying to figure shit out train” feel worse about themselves (when in reality we’re all on the same bloody train, because balance is an illusion).
We’re obsessed with finding solutions and creating formulas and recipes, and then get surprised when they no longer work.
What if we flip it, so that we get surprised if something is actually still working. And if it isn’t, that’s good news! It’s an opportunity to create a new, better formula which will work until it doesn’t.
Thanks for reading and reflecting with me,
Elin xx
Do you believe in balance? If yes; when and how?
Ps. Maybe this letter gave me away, but I’m definitely out of balance at the moment and actively working on acceptance and to find peace in the chaos, knowing that this too, will change in due time.
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I so enjoyed this! I too have been trying to think more about how I can create space to do the things that are energizing and fulfilling versus balance
LOVE this. We think finding balance is hard because we're a wee bit shit. Actually, it's hard because it's bloody hard.